July 17, 2007 Discrimination SUCKS

Week 1 Day 6
Tomorrow at 11AM is going to be my official first weigh-in and assessment since starting the program. I didn’t weigh myself this morning but I want to make sure tomorrow goes good so I’m going to lay off the carbs and the sodium today and I’ll make sure to get a cardio workout in this evening or in the morning. I want to be their star client!!! That’s my overachiever attitude coming in so it’s probably a good thing that I chose a program where you have to answer to a whole bunch of people, I hate to disappoint!

I need to institute a rewards program. When I reach the 20 lb mark I’m going to get myself something I’ve been wanting for a year now, a Fendi bag!!! I don’t have that many purses and the few that I have are designer, I’d rather buy few more expensive purses that I absolutely love than have a whole bunch of cheap purses that match my outfits. I’ll get it off ebay so that it’s only half of the price and plus I’m already saving so much money by cutting out all of the drive-thrus and the lattes, smoothies, and frozen drinks that are all part of my normal daily routine. The only thing edible I’ve purchased since starting the progam (other than lunch at PF changes) is cheap coffee like once a day, I once bought a small salad and I may have paid for a water bottle or two which is a huge comedown from the regular 10-20 dollars that I usually spend a day on food and drinks. So that Fendi purse won’t be a big setback for me.

I had a bad day which sucks because it’s one of the few days that I don’t have to work or shadow doctors and some bitch ruined it!!! I’ve been applying around to work at many optical centers to get experience in the field since I plan on attending optometry school next year. I got offered a job but I’m not happy with the pay so I’m still looking. There’s this one brand new eye clinic that just opened up in a ritzy shopping center that I would love to work in. I called today to ask if they received my resume and cover letter that I faxed last week and the girl that answered couldn’t seem to find it. I asked her if they’re still hiring and her response was “yes, we’re always hiring!” I decided I was going to take my stuff there in person to the manager so that I know they’re received. I walked in and asked for the manager and as soon as she saw she kind of tilted her head back like I startled her. I introduced myself and handed her my papers and gave her a little introduction she just kept nodding her head, then I said “you guys are hiring right?” and her response was that they weren’t but maybe in a few months!!!!! She discriminated against me because I’m Muslim and I wear a headscarf, that’s the only explanation for what happened. I’m pretty good at speaking out and confronting people but I thought she might just read my resume and get impressed and know she’s wrong and give me a call back-I didn’t want to say anything and ruin my chances but that totally ruined my day!!!!!!
I don’t feel bad that she judged me because I don’t need her to think highly of me-she’s probably around 45 and the highlight of her life is managing an optometrist’s office and I know I have a bright future ahead of me so it’s not about her she’s insignificant but I feel bad because people’s prejudices and discrimination get in the way of what I’m trying to pursue. I’m trying to use all that anger energy and channel it into motivation energy to make this bodymakeover thing work once and for all!!!! Afterwards I went to the mall with the intention of returning a 20 dollar shirt and ending up buying $165 worth of stuff paid for in cash which meant I had to put off making payments on my store credit cards, I really need to work on my spending.

I skipped breakfast, and had a small frozen yogurt for dinner at 9:30 (way after the time I should stop eating). All in all I consumed 540 calories, 17 grams of fat, and 45 grams of carbs. To be honest right now I’m actually hungry for a change but I’m excited about my weigh-in tomorrow!