I decided to go on that restrictive "no-no" diet which is where I totally cut out carbs for a week or 2 in order to "shock" my body and get the weight loss moving faster. So the day before I ate all kinds of bad food in anticipation of the diet. I had an oyster poboy, fries, fried mushroom, and some cake. Anyway, the next day I was fasting until sundown for religious reasons (Ashura in the Muslim calendar) and by late evening I just absolutely could not take that I wasn't allowed to eat something and told myself "hey I was fasting today I'll just start tomorrow". I ended up eating gelatto, banana bread pudding (lots of it), and some cookies. So that would be 2 bad days in a row. When the third day came around, in the morning I really wanted something sweet with my coffee especially because I was about ot start on this "diet" for 7 days so what's the big deal if I just start at lunchtime? I ended up eating a whole twix bar and some more banana bread pudding. I wasn't even enjoying this stuff to be honest, my goal was to get in as much as I could before it was not allowed as if it's supposed to satisfy any future junk food cravings I may have.
Sometime shortly after that I realized that it's this exact diet mentality that is going to be the ruin of me. I just can't do it! I've been down this road so many times I can't believe I almost fell for it again. When I go on these "diets"-yes it's true that I do lose weight , however I usually gain some weight beforehand in anticipation (like I did now) and when I get off I always immediately put back on some pounds because I have those post-splurges. Eventually my weight ALWAYS goes back up because I really didn't learn very much that I can apply to my life.
I need to go back to doing what I was doing, which is basically eating intuitively and not depriving myself of anything. I need to accept that it's going to be a SLOWWWW process but this is really the best way to acheive my physical and MENTAL well-being for the long-run. I'm learning to apply better choices into my life and I'm acquring permanent habits, which takes time.