Today is cleansing day!

I woke up totally feeling like shit, just every morning this whole past week!

I know I've put back on some weight so I'm avoiding the scale. I've been eating bad the past few days. Yesterday I had leftover pizza hut for breakfast, and for dinner at 8PM I had gyro sandwich, fries, and falafel (fried) at a restaurant. Afterwards, I went to this trendy local cafe to watch the final euro cup match at night (I'm still in the Middle East) and since I don't smoke I felt I needed to be eating something tasty while everyone was smoking around me. So I ordered applie pie with ice cream, it was a big slice so I only ended up eating half.

THEN I had the salt cravings and at around midnight went to the mcdonald's drive thru for my second dinner of the evening of a spicy mcchicken and large fries. The fact that I was with other people didn't deter me; they just kept cracking jokes and saying things like "please have mercy on your digestive system". The jokes didn't bother me, I actually thought it was pretty funny and laughed with them. I mean in all honestly if I was with someone who was doing what I was doing I'd have the urge to say a few things too.

It's now 10 AM, I've been up for 2 hours and I feel better that I've gone to the bathroom...but I still feel like I weigh a million pounds. I reminded myself that this is all in my control and I totally have the ability to change why I feel this day. I've designated today as cleansing day and I'm going to be listening to my body and eat things that will make me feel better. No stuffing myself today...I'm only going to eat when I'm actually hungry and I'm sticking to the pure stuff: tomatos, cucumbers, apples, lots of water, no fried stuff, no bread or rice!

By the way, tomorrow I'm taking a mini trip for 4 days to a Sharm El Sheikh, Egypt where I'll be staying in a 5 star resort! More on that later....

Back to the setbacks

I've been the same number on the scale (and the same size) for about 3 weeks now and it's really frustrating. I've been doing good with the gym but my struggles with food are resurfacing. I have some good days but too many bad days.

I've started taking the suppressants again about a week ago and even with that I still have the urges to eat at night and the cravings for specific junk foods. Last night I ate a shawarma sandwich and some fries and I woke up feeling pretty heavy. It's now 3:30 PM and I had fruit, water, and low fat cheese for breakfast but I still feel fat. I'm going to an engagement party tonight for a daughter of old friends that I haven't seen in forever. It's going to be a nice fancy party but I have no desire or motivation to go. I feel frumpy and I don't feel like putting on anything.

I'm now going through old blogs for some motivation and inspiration...

I've now lost over 45 pounds!!!!

I haven't updated in a while but it's not because I've fallen off track. I've been over seas in the middle eastern country of Jordan for the past 5 weeks and since I've been here I've actually dropped another 10 pounds net total. I admit most of which I lost the first couple of weeks...2 weeks I've been eating out alot as I'm getting comfortable with the town so I've put back on probably like 2 pounds.

I've joined a gym here and I've committed (well sort of) to going to a 3 times a week to their aerobics class which has actually made a difference to my tummy! I try to go at least 5 times a week but even if I don't I get a decent amount of walking here. Even though I rented a car I still have to do a good bit of walking. My biggest struggle is definitely the food...the eating out :(