Wednesday, January 2, 2008

From me to myself

Somewhere from within me rises a now-familiar presence, offering me all the certainties I have always wished another person would say to me when I was troubled. This is what I find myself writing to myself on the page:

I'm here. I love you. I don't care if you need to stay up crying all night long, I will stay with you. If you need the medication again, go ahead and take it-I will love you through that, as well. If you don't need the medication, I will love you, too. There's nothing you can ever due to lose my love. I will protect you until you die, and after your death I will still protect you. I am stronger than Depression and I am braver than Loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me.

Tonight, this strange interior gesture of friendship-the lending of a hand from me to myself when nobody else is around to offer solace-reminds me of something that happened to me once in New York City.....

-Eat Pray Love

6 comments:

TinyTrim said...

There's not much I can offer except sympathy, support, and a hug. I'm an ongoing survivor of depression, too. I've been there and still go there on occasion. I'm not going to tell you to keep your chin up or any other things that people often tell us to do. Just that it will get better. And there's no shame in going back on meds :)

Sonya said...

I finished that book about a month ago. It sure does make you think, eh? I could relate on so many levels as do many other women. Enjoy reading the book and I hope you are able to look deep inside yourself like I did after.

breckgirl said...

Hi - glad to see you're back. You sound a little blue, just like I've been feeling, too. For me, holidays have to do with family and family creates hysteria, drama and depression. I'm back home now and trying to return to my normal life. I hope you feel better. I have no idea what your beliefs are but just wanted to offer that the stuff that you told yourself in your entry is something that God will tell you, too, if you let Him.

Take care of yourself - and if you have to take medication, then take it. Don't worry about what other people think - it's not their experience, it's yours. Welcome back.

amma15 said...

tinytrim, actually these aren't my words they're an excerpt from the book I'm reading now: Eat Pray Love.....but I do relate to those words which is why I posted them. I used to deal with major anxiety and took meds for that-I think I'm doing much better now and the weight loss definitely helps! thanks for the support.

sonya, I loved the first part-I'm not on the second part.

breckgirl, those actually aren't my words but theyr'e taken from "eat pray love". But yea I am feeling a little bit down I ended a relationship about a week ago and of course the inevitable family drama that comes with the holidays ;) As for my beliefs, I'm a practicing Muslim and I do find solace and comfort in God when I open up my heart.

Anonymous said...

I love your quote . I loved reading this book (twice already!)

TinyTrim said...

Whoops! Don't I feel silly now! I've heard good things about this book, too.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm just going to wander off with my red face. Tee!