Today is cleansing day!

I woke up totally feeling like shit, just every morning this whole past week!

I know I've put back on some weight so I'm avoiding the scale. I've been eating bad the past few days. Yesterday I had leftover pizza hut for breakfast, and for dinner at 8PM I had gyro sandwich, fries, and falafel (fried) at a restaurant. Afterwards, I went to this trendy local cafe to watch the final euro cup match at night (I'm still in the Middle East) and since I don't smoke I felt I needed to be eating something tasty while everyone was smoking around me. So I ordered applie pie with ice cream, it was a big slice so I only ended up eating half.

THEN I had the salt cravings and at around midnight went to the mcdonald's drive thru for my second dinner of the evening of a spicy mcchicken and large fries. The fact that I was with other people didn't deter me; they just kept cracking jokes and saying things like "please have mercy on your digestive system". The jokes didn't bother me, I actually thought it was pretty funny and laughed with them. I mean in all honestly if I was with someone who was doing what I was doing I'd have the urge to say a few things too.

It's now 10 AM, I've been up for 2 hours and I feel better that I've gone to the bathroom...but I still feel like I weigh a million pounds. I reminded myself that this is all in my control and I totally have the ability to change why I feel this day. I've designated today as cleansing day and I'm going to be listening to my body and eat things that will make me feel better. No stuffing myself today...I'm only going to eat when I'm actually hungry and I'm sticking to the pure stuff: tomatos, cucumbers, apples, lots of water, no fried stuff, no bread or rice!

By the way, tomorrow I'm taking a mini trip for 4 days to a Sharm El Sheikh, Egypt where I'll be staying in a 5 star resort! More on that later....

Back to the setbacks

I've been the same number on the scale (and the same size) for about 3 weeks now and it's really frustrating. I've been doing good with the gym but my struggles with food are resurfacing. I have some good days but too many bad days.

I've started taking the suppressants again about a week ago and even with that I still have the urges to eat at night and the cravings for specific junk foods. Last night I ate a shawarma sandwich and some fries and I woke up feeling pretty heavy. It's now 3:30 PM and I had fruit, water, and low fat cheese for breakfast but I still feel fat. I'm going to an engagement party tonight for a daughter of old friends that I haven't seen in forever. It's going to be a nice fancy party but I have no desire or motivation to go. I feel frumpy and I don't feel like putting on anything.

I'm now going through old blogs for some motivation and inspiration...

I've now lost over 45 pounds!!!!

I haven't updated in a while but it's not because I've fallen off track. I've been over seas in the middle eastern country of Jordan for the past 5 weeks and since I've been here I've actually dropped another 10 pounds net total. I admit most of which I lost the first couple of weeks...2 weeks I've been eating out alot as I'm getting comfortable with the town so I've put back on probably like 2 pounds.

I've joined a gym here and I've committed (well sort of) to going to a 3 times a week to their aerobics class which has actually made a difference to my tummy! I try to go at least 5 times a week but even if I don't I get a decent amount of walking here. Even though I rented a car I still have to do a good bit of walking. My biggest struggle is definitely the food...the eating out :(

DESPERATE: What to do about muffintop

I haven't been able to religiously stick to this NONO diet in preparation for my cousin's wedding overseas (I'm leaving wednesday) but I have dropped another pound.

Ok although I've now lost over 35 pounds and like 3 sizes I still have this really horrible muffin top....actually it's more like a tire. I know we all have them but proportionally speaking mine is pretty bad. My observation has been that most people with my shoulder-hip-butt-thigh measurements do not have a that flabby layer that I do.

The weird thing is when I was younger my abs were NEVER my problem area...it was always my butt and thighs that caused me distress. It might have to do with the fact that I gained weight so rapidly and also the binges of the past that left me with this tire hugging my waistline. The picture above was taken recently and I was totally sucking in as hard as I can.

I tried hiphop abs and it did nothing for me. I did it a few times and I felt absolutely nothing in my abs. I used to do 8 minute abs but I only felt it was working my abs like the first 2 times so I quit that after some weeks. I'm willing to take up new exercises and add to my workout routine I just need something very powerful and effective and I'll totally commit to it. Does anyone have suggestions? particularly something that's on DVD so I can take it with me while I'm traveling.

I've entered the 50s!

This is really exciting, I weighed myself this morning (and I realize that the numbers aren't an accurate measure of success but I like to use the numbers as a rough point of reference) and I was 156.5, I've dropped 34.5 pounds!!!!

In other news my mom has jumped on the weight loss bandwagon about a month ago. She's 5"4 and started at 220, I believe she dropped 19 lbs the first month and I'm happy she's feeling and looking better!

My updates!

Hi everyone, I hope I still have some readers left! No, I haven't fallen off the bandwagon-well I did for a short period of time. I spent the last month and a half traveling around including my first trip to San Francisco; I also went to both Disneyland and Disneyworld within 2 weeks of each other. I'm excited to say that I've gotten my acceptances into the only 2 optometry schools I've applied to. Getting those interviews/acceptances were some of the most exciting things to happen to me; however, I now have a pretty tough decision to make as to which school and city I think I'd be happier in.

My weight loss has been very slow but I am losing. Check back later today for my official weight posting. I'm visiting the country that my dad is from in 2 weeks to attend a cousin's major wedding and I don't want to be the fat cousin. The last time I visited was 7 years ago and wore a size 8 and was told I need to get thinner (in other countries people are blunt about stuff like that). As much as I hate dieting, to speed things a bit I decided to go on the "No No" diet. That's basically where I cut out carbs for 2 weeks. Today is my fourth day and I've done a tiny bit of cheating here and there but overall I'm doing good.

Since I came back home I've been pretty committted to the gym. I go about 5 days a week and I do strength training 2-3 weeks. I've realized that the things I would most like to change about my body is my flabby ghetto booty and my belly. I've started doing the stairmaster to tighten my buns but I found it soooo much harder than the elliptical and treadmill. I'm aiming to incorporate ab exercises after every workout but sometimes I'm too worn out.

Any suggestions as to some effective butt exercises?

I'm back and on "vacation"

I'm back, I'm still alive!

On January 24th I left for a 2 week vacation to chicago but ended up extending it for an indefinite period of time. I came for an admissions open house that a graduate program I'm very interested in was having, and then I decided to just stay here at my aunt's house and prepare for my entrance exam where I'm removed from the distractions of home.

I've been really busy with applications and studying because I'm pushing lots of deadlines at this point. I'm a relatively borderline applicant and the score that I make on the exam is pretty much going to make it or break it in terms of admission for me. I'm trying not to let that get to me but I can' thelp it and I've been stressing out like crazy. I've already reschedule the exam date twice.

I've put back on 4.5 lbs from my lowest weight but I'm getting back on track. It's harder to be conscious of what I eat when I'm really stressed out and I haven't been working out more than 2-3 times a week so I felt compelled to renew my prescription for the appetite suppressants. I restarted those last week and they've helped tremendously with the portion control but I still eat alot of junk food and sometimes late into the night if I'm studying late. I've also taken a VitaminB12 shot which I'm supposed to take every 2 weeks. One of the benefits is that it keeps the energy level up although I'm not sure I've noticed the difference. I sent my aunt to the vitamin store to get me all kinds of supplements including water pills, fiber pills, and a carb blocker. I know this is all temporary but I just need all the assistance I can get until I get this exam out of the way which is the biggest priority right now.

Also I'd like to thank everyone who left comments wondering about my absentee status, I greatly appreciate it and I do need all the support I can get. I'll try to update more since I know that helps me stay on track.