Week 1 Day 6
Tomorrow at 11AM is going to be my official first weigh-in and assessment since starting the program. I didn’t weigh myself this morning but I want to make sure tomorrow goes good so I’m going to lay off the carbs and the sodium today and I’ll make sure to get a cardio workout in this evening or in the morning. I want to be their star client!!! That’s my overachiever attitude coming in so it’s probably a good thing that I chose a program where you have to answer to a whole bunch of people, I hate to disappoint!
I need to institute a rewards program. When I reach the 20 lb mark I’m going to get myself something I’ve been wanting for a year now, a Fendi bag!!! I don’t have that many purses and the few that I have are designer, I’d rather buy few more expensive purses that I absolutely love than have a whole bunch of cheap purses that match my outfits. I’ll get it off ebay so that it’s only half of the price and plus I’m already saving so much money by cutting out all of the drive-thrus and the lattes, smoothies, and frozen drinks that are all part of my normal daily routine. The only thing edible I’ve purchased since starting the progam (other than lunch at PF changes) is cheap coffee like once a day, I once bought a small salad and I may have paid for a water bottle or two which is a huge comedown from the regular 10-20 dollars that I usually spend a day on food and drinks. So that Fendi purse won’t be a big setback for me.
I had a bad day which sucks because it’s one of the few days that I don’t have to work or shadow doctors and some bitch ruined it!!! I’ve been applying around to work at many optical centers to get experience in the field since I plan on attending optometry school next year. I got offered a job but I’m not happy with the pay so I’m still looking. There’s this one brand new eye clinic that just opened up in a ritzy shopping center that I would love to work in. I called today to ask if they received my resume and cover letter that I faxed last week and the girl that answered couldn’t seem to find it. I asked her if they’re still hiring and her response was “yes, we’re always hiring!” I decided I was going to take my stuff there in person to the manager so that I know they’re received. I walked in and asked for the manager and as soon as she saw she kind of tilted her head back like I startled her. I introduced myself and handed her my papers and gave her a little introduction she just kept nodding her head, then I said “you guys are hiring right?” and her response was that they weren’t but maybe in a few months!!!!! She discriminated against me because I’m Muslim and I wear a headscarf, that’s the only explanation for what happened. I’m pretty good at speaking out and confronting people but I thought she might just read my resume and get impressed and know she’s wrong and give me a call back-I didn’t want to say anything and ruin my chances but that totally ruined my day!!!!!!
I don’t feel bad that she judged me because I don’t need her to think highly of me-she’s probably around 45 and the highlight of her life is managing an optometrist’s office and I know I have a bright future ahead of me so it’s not about her she’s insignificant but I feel bad because people’s prejudices and discrimination get in the way of what I’m trying to pursue. I’m trying to use all that anger energy and channel it into motivation energy to make this bodymakeover thing work once and for all!!!! Afterwards I went to the mall with the intention of returning a 20 dollar shirt and ending up buying $165 worth of stuff paid for in cash which meant I had to put off making payments on my store credit cards, I really need to work on my spending.
I skipped breakfast, and had a small frozen yogurt for dinner at 9:30 (way after the time I should stop eating). All in all I consumed 540 calories, 17 grams of fat, and 45 grams of carbs. To be honest right now I’m actually hungry for a change but I’m excited about my weigh-in tomorrow!
Showing posts with label weight. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weight. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
July 16, 2007 Lunch party success!!!
Week 1 Day 5
Weight: 183.5
Lost: 7.5
I broke my rule about not weighing myself every morning. I couldn’t resist the scale I just had to know if the lunch at PF Changs caused any harm and to my surprise I dropped another pound which means I lost 7 pounds in 4 days!!!!!
I did great at the lunch party that I was so nervous about! I made sure to take the fiber pill before eating and had two glasses of water and my friend definitely hosted a banquet!! She laid out salmon filet, pot roast, two different kinds of rice, gourmet salad, and some fancy pizza-looking thing. I decided that whatever I put on my plate was what I was going to eat and no more. I put a normal serving of the healthy stuff: salmon and the salad (with olive oil) and then I just put a little bit, I mean literally like a couple of bites of everything else so that I was more than satisfied. If I could learn to just eat like that every time I ate at a party or dinner that would be a major accomplishment! After a couple of hours I had some strawberry and kiwi. So in total the meal was around 650 calories and 38 grams of fat (olive oil and pot roast). I had to work a closing shift so I just skipped dinner; what was really weird is that I didn’t even feel hungry until I got home at 11PM so I just popped a fiber pill and drank water. At the end of the day I only ate around 800 calories and I went to a lunch party!!!
Weight: 183.5
Lost: 7.5
I broke my rule about not weighing myself every morning. I couldn’t resist the scale I just had to know if the lunch at PF Changs caused any harm and to my surprise I dropped another pound which means I lost 7 pounds in 4 days!!!!!
I did great at the lunch party that I was so nervous about! I made sure to take the fiber pill before eating and had two glasses of water and my friend definitely hosted a banquet!! She laid out salmon filet, pot roast, two different kinds of rice, gourmet salad, and some fancy pizza-looking thing. I decided that whatever I put on my plate was what I was going to eat and no more. I put a normal serving of the healthy stuff: salmon and the salad (with olive oil) and then I just put a little bit, I mean literally like a couple of bites of everything else so that I was more than satisfied. If I could learn to just eat like that every time I ate at a party or dinner that would be a major accomplishment! After a couple of hours I had some strawberry and kiwi. So in total the meal was around 650 calories and 38 grams of fat (olive oil and pot roast). I had to work a closing shift so I just skipped dinner; what was really weird is that I didn’t even feel hungry until I got home at 11PM so I just popped a fiber pill and drank water. At the end of the day I only ate around 800 calories and I went to a lunch party!!!
July 14, 2007-Binge Eating
Week 1 Day 3
Weight: 186.5
Lost: 4.5
This morning I weighed in at 186.5 which gives me a total loss of 4.5 pounds in two days! It’s most likely water and other substances and not so much fat but hey, that’s lost mass and that still makes me happy! I was supposed to shadow my local optometrist at 9 AM this morning and I woke up late so I was rushing out and didn’t have much of a breakfast, but I also had no appetite. This meant that taking all of my pills was delayed until lunch when I got back. I made myself an egg white omelet and had half a hamburger patty that all equaled around 400 calories that I took with a water pill, the prescription, the energy pill, and the craving control pill. I’m happy that I feel like I can eat again and I’m going to try to make it a priority not to eat under 1000 calories today.
Although I’ve only don’t the program for two full days my attitude about food is completely different. My problems with weight were always due to my struggle with food. I’m relatively an active person, I’m not a workout freak but I go to the gym a couple times a week and I’ve had a gym membership since high school. There were lots of times when I wasn’t consistent about going regularly but still I workout more than the average person and if I was putting on pounds it was because of the food. I’m an emotional eater as well as a binge eater; food was always the easy escape out of problems and I can safely say that my life is full of stress. I take on too many tasks at once (this is something else I’m hoping will change with a positive self-image). There are many days when food is really my biggest enjoyment of the day. I can’t remember when it was that I started binging at night but it was just the perfect escape from the problem or task at hand. Afterwards it was the worst feeling ever and I would keep telling myself that tomorrow I’m going to change or whatever but when I come home to my lonely apartment after a bad day the urge was just something I couldn’t control, it was like an addiction and I took comfort in knowing that there’s always tomorrow. This past year when I was doing my masters it was the worst. My program was relatively intense I was taking around 5 graduate classes each semester, I was tutoring Arabic, and I was also working part-time. There were many days when I’d leave early around 7 AM and not get home until 11 PM with a long list of things I needed to do, quizzes to study for, assignments to complete-and I just took comfort in food and the binging became more regular. During the year I went on a couple of diets in an attempt to change but they didn’t last and in the 9 months that I was in school this past year I gained around 35 pounds! I was at an all all-time low in morale, I felt ugly and when I was not at work I was pretty much always wearing the same couple of pairs sweatpants and always had a sweatshirt tied around my waist to cover my huge ass (I still do that actually). I lost the desire for girly things such as shopping, manicures and pedicures, accessories, makeup-I just didn’t care! I also started dreading going to big social functions that are so prominent in the arab community like parties and weddings. I’m usually big on fashion and being trendy and have a positive image in the community and I just didn’t want people to see me looking like this. My mom started telling people that my weight gain was due to a medication I was taking and was only temporary. Because of my low morale I really missed out on a lot this year, it was like part of me stopped living.
The past couple of days on the pill there were definately times that I was feeling that eating is something I have to do and not something I like to do. I just have no appetite and get no cravings, it’s really weird! At dinner after I realized that I still consumed under 900 calories that day I made myself eat a peach and string cheese to bring my total calories to 980 so that I don’t feel like I’m losing weight unhealthily or that I’m slowing down my metabolism. My mom thinks it’s just wonderful, she told me to tell the doctor at my next appointment that I’m taking the whole pill instead of half like I am now so that he can prescribe me more to give her some. By bringing down the appetite and cravings the pill is just making it easier when it comes to control and discipline.
I’ve picked up a really awesome habit which is I replaced my entire liquid intake with water (except of course for coffee). In three days I haven’t had any diet sodas, carbonated drinks, any sugar free drinks that are filled with artificial flavorings and sweeteners, it’s just water! It’s also really the only way of ensuring that I get that 6-8 glasses a day.
So it’s the end of the third day and I have recorded in my diary 980 calories, 44 grams of fat (lots of protein), and 47 grams of carbs (half of it from the frozen yogurt I had). I’m optimistic about the future and I’ve already starting flipping through the pages of the fashion magazines I subscribe to that lately just pile up on my desk! As always, I love to hear from you!
Weight: 186.5
Lost: 4.5
This morning I weighed in at 186.5 which gives me a total loss of 4.5 pounds in two days! It’s most likely water and other substances and not so much fat but hey, that’s lost mass and that still makes me happy! I was supposed to shadow my local optometrist at 9 AM this morning and I woke up late so I was rushing out and didn’t have much of a breakfast, but I also had no appetite. This meant that taking all of my pills was delayed until lunch when I got back. I made myself an egg white omelet and had half a hamburger patty that all equaled around 400 calories that I took with a water pill, the prescription, the energy pill, and the craving control pill. I’m happy that I feel like I can eat again and I’m going to try to make it a priority not to eat under 1000 calories today.
Although I’ve only don’t the program for two full days my attitude about food is completely different. My problems with weight were always due to my struggle with food. I’m relatively an active person, I’m not a workout freak but I go to the gym a couple times a week and I’ve had a gym membership since high school. There were lots of times when I wasn’t consistent about going regularly but still I workout more than the average person and if I was putting on pounds it was because of the food. I’m an emotional eater as well as a binge eater; food was always the easy escape out of problems and I can safely say that my life is full of stress. I take on too many tasks at once (this is something else I’m hoping will change with a positive self-image). There are many days when food is really my biggest enjoyment of the day. I can’t remember when it was that I started binging at night but it was just the perfect escape from the problem or task at hand. Afterwards it was the worst feeling ever and I would keep telling myself that tomorrow I’m going to change or whatever but when I come home to my lonely apartment after a bad day the urge was just something I couldn’t control, it was like an addiction and I took comfort in knowing that there’s always tomorrow. This past year when I was doing my masters it was the worst. My program was relatively intense I was taking around 5 graduate classes each semester, I was tutoring Arabic, and I was also working part-time. There were many days when I’d leave early around 7 AM and not get home until 11 PM with a long list of things I needed to do, quizzes to study for, assignments to complete-and I just took comfort in food and the binging became more regular. During the year I went on a couple of diets in an attempt to change but they didn’t last and in the 9 months that I was in school this past year I gained around 35 pounds! I was at an all all-time low in morale, I felt ugly and when I was not at work I was pretty much always wearing the same couple of pairs sweatpants and always had a sweatshirt tied around my waist to cover my huge ass (I still do that actually). I lost the desire for girly things such as shopping, manicures and pedicures, accessories, makeup-I just didn’t care! I also started dreading going to big social functions that are so prominent in the arab community like parties and weddings. I’m usually big on fashion and being trendy and have a positive image in the community and I just didn’t want people to see me looking like this. My mom started telling people that my weight gain was due to a medication I was taking and was only temporary. Because of my low morale I really missed out on a lot this year, it was like part of me stopped living.
The past couple of days on the pill there were definately times that I was feeling that eating is something I have to do and not something I like to do. I just have no appetite and get no cravings, it’s really weird! At dinner after I realized that I still consumed under 900 calories that day I made myself eat a peach and string cheese to bring my total calories to 980 so that I don’t feel like I’m losing weight unhealthily or that I’m slowing down my metabolism. My mom thinks it’s just wonderful, she told me to tell the doctor at my next appointment that I’m taking the whole pill instead of half like I am now so that he can prescribe me more to give her some. By bringing down the appetite and cravings the pill is just making it easier when it comes to control and discipline.
I’ve picked up a really awesome habit which is I replaced my entire liquid intake with water (except of course for coffee). In three days I haven’t had any diet sodas, carbonated drinks, any sugar free drinks that are filled with artificial flavorings and sweeteners, it’s just water! It’s also really the only way of ensuring that I get that 6-8 glasses a day.
So it’s the end of the third day and I have recorded in my diary 980 calories, 44 grams of fat (lots of protein), and 47 grams of carbs (half of it from the frozen yogurt I had). I’m optimistic about the future and I’ve already starting flipping through the pages of the fashion magazines I subscribe to that lately just pile up on my desk! As always, I love to hear from you!
July 12, 2007 First Day
Week 1 Day 1
Weight: 191
Today is the first official day on the personal journey that’ll probably be one of the most important one of my life, making over my body-FOR LIFE! I’m a 23 yr old female and as of yesterday I was 5”1 and weighed 190 pounds, the most I’ve ever been. Just typing that number down gave me the chills!!
Here’s my introductory tell you about myself blab la bla paragraph: I have has just completed a masters degree (almost completed, still have a final paper to turn in), I currently reside in my home town of Baton Rouge, LA, I’m arab, and I work part-time in a popular and over-priced retail store that doesn’t even carry my size. I’ve always wanted to go to medical school but after finishing my masters in genetics I decided MD isn’t for me and I’m hoping to be in optometry school in the fall of ’08. I spend a lot of my days applying for jobs (hoping to work at an eye clinic), researching for my masters paper, and working. Throughout the blog I’ll be talking more about my life and past but right now there’s too much to say.
So back to the body makeover! I’ve had issues with weight for as long as I can remember although I wasn’t always a fat girl, I’m sure a lot of you reading this blog can relate to that! In high school I felt like the fattest girl although I fluctuated between size 4 and 6. My weight in college was constantly up and down, during my sophomore year I went on the south beach diet with my roommate and lost around 25 pounds that got me down to a size 6, but after a tough graduate school year I can now barely fit in size 14! I’ve been on just about every diet that has a name, and I KNOW that many of you reading this can relate to that one! I usually don’t lose more than a few pounds with the exception of the south beach. The last diet I was on was the Nurtisystem, before that I’ve tried slimfast, weightwatchers, the master cleanse, grapefruit diet, scarsdale, abs diet, etc. I’ve realized the problem isn’t with the diets as much as it is with me, I mean if you stick to any of those you’re going to lose weight and learn healthy habits but I had low willpower and low confidence in my ability to succeed, like one of my friends once told me “you always sabotage yourself”. I recently went on vacation to attend my cousins wedding and I don’t think there was a family member that didn’t comment on my weight. My parents are not happy with my size, my dad gives me almost daily lectures about my health (I also have a congenital heart disorder) and my mom is just the worst, I think she thinks that if she calls me enough names I’ll get motivated to lose weight. My mom is one of those moms that’s pretty big on image, she loves to tell people about all of my academic achievements and standardized test scores but at the same time I feel that she gets embarrassed by me, I’m definitely one of the “bigger” girls in the arab-muslim community. At weddings and parties I’ve noticed that she’ll point out my size double zero sister to people she just met.
My best friend convinced to sign up with this medical weight loss center called Body Image Solutions here in Baton Rouge, that happens to be the same place she goes for laser hair removal; she’s probably one of the only people that know how much of a low I’ve reached and she just wants to see me happy. What attracted me to give that a try is the whole group support thing and the fact that you have to go in every week to meet with a counselor and once a month to meet with a physician. I went over to the clinic yesterday and attended the nutrition class which was pretty much information I already know from all the diet books I read (but it's good to hear it again), I met with a physician who prescribed an appetite suppressant, and they convinced me to purchase a few supplements that you can probably get over the counter that include a water pill, a fiber pill, energy pill, and a craving control pill. I take 4 of those daily and one of them as needed. Basically, I’m supposed to eat 1200 calories a day (300 breakfast, 400 lunch, 300 dinner, and 2-100 cal snacks) and cut out simple carbohydrates. They gave me a customized meal plan as well as a food diary that I am to be recording everything in. They also told me I really need to lose 85 pounds. I thought I was going to be paying 100 dollars a month for my 3 month membership but at the end of the day I ended up charging almost 450 dollars. Afterwards I called my friend and she told me to trust her it's going to be worth it! My mom covered most of the cost but very sternly told me that if I didn’t lose weight I owe her the money. I’ll probably be spending another 50-100 dollars a month on the supplements if I decide I want them.
So as I mentioned, today was the first official day although it really should have been yesterday except I had mcdonald’s for lunch. I took my pills in the morning and the fiber pills before meals and I have recorded in my food diary that I ate a total of 920 calories, 29 grams of fat, and 26 grams of carbohydrates and surprisingly it was easy to do. Not only did I serve myself healthy food but I just got full on small portions! My biggest struggle was probably in between the meals/snacks I got hungry but once I sat down and ate I only wanted a little bit. I went to the mall food court with a coworker and convinced her to split a salad with me, I just wanted to eat something small. I’m hesitant to say this on the first day but that stuff is working!
The reason why I decided to start a blog is that I’m hoping to create a network of cyber support especially for young females who need a body makeover. I always felt that reading others blogs/stories gave me some motivation but a lot of times I felt that I couldn’t quite relate with the middle-aged mother of 3, although if you fall in that category and you’re reading my blog I still do feel your struggle and wish you success. I don’t care what ‘diet’ you’re doing or plan you’re following but we all have a greater thing in common and I hope that reading about my experience gives you support and motivation like writing it gives me support and motivation to reach the greater goal. If you have any questions/comments I would LOVE to hear from you!
Weight: 191
Today is the first official day on the personal journey that’ll probably be one of the most important one of my life, making over my body-FOR LIFE! I’m a 23 yr old female and as of yesterday I was 5”1 and weighed 190 pounds, the most I’ve ever been. Just typing that number down gave me the chills!!
Here’s my introductory tell you about myself blab la bla paragraph: I have has just completed a masters degree (almost completed, still have a final paper to turn in), I currently reside in my home town of Baton Rouge, LA, I’m arab, and I work part-time in a popular and over-priced retail store that doesn’t even carry my size. I’ve always wanted to go to medical school but after finishing my masters in genetics I decided MD isn’t for me and I’m hoping to be in optometry school in the fall of ’08. I spend a lot of my days applying for jobs (hoping to work at an eye clinic), researching for my masters paper, and working. Throughout the blog I’ll be talking more about my life and past but right now there’s too much to say.
So back to the body makeover! I’ve had issues with weight for as long as I can remember although I wasn’t always a fat girl, I’m sure a lot of you reading this blog can relate to that! In high school I felt like the fattest girl although I fluctuated between size 4 and 6. My weight in college was constantly up and down, during my sophomore year I went on the south beach diet with my roommate and lost around 25 pounds that got me down to a size 6, but after a tough graduate school year I can now barely fit in size 14! I’ve been on just about every diet that has a name, and I KNOW that many of you reading this can relate to that one! I usually don’t lose more than a few pounds with the exception of the south beach. The last diet I was on was the Nurtisystem, before that I’ve tried slimfast, weightwatchers, the master cleanse, grapefruit diet, scarsdale, abs diet, etc. I’ve realized the problem isn’t with the diets as much as it is with me, I mean if you stick to any of those you’re going to lose weight and learn healthy habits but I had low willpower and low confidence in my ability to succeed, like one of my friends once told me “you always sabotage yourself”. I recently went on vacation to attend my cousins wedding and I don’t think there was a family member that didn’t comment on my weight. My parents are not happy with my size, my dad gives me almost daily lectures about my health (I also have a congenital heart disorder) and my mom is just the worst, I think she thinks that if she calls me enough names I’ll get motivated to lose weight. My mom is one of those moms that’s pretty big on image, she loves to tell people about all of my academic achievements and standardized test scores but at the same time I feel that she gets embarrassed by me, I’m definitely one of the “bigger” girls in the arab-muslim community. At weddings and parties I’ve noticed that she’ll point out my size double zero sister to people she just met.
My best friend convinced to sign up with this medical weight loss center called Body Image Solutions here in Baton Rouge, that happens to be the same place she goes for laser hair removal; she’s probably one of the only people that know how much of a low I’ve reached and she just wants to see me happy. What attracted me to give that a try is the whole group support thing and the fact that you have to go in every week to meet with a counselor and once a month to meet with a physician. I went over to the clinic yesterday and attended the nutrition class which was pretty much information I already know from all the diet books I read (but it's good to hear it again), I met with a physician who prescribed an appetite suppressant, and they convinced me to purchase a few supplements that you can probably get over the counter that include a water pill, a fiber pill, energy pill, and a craving control pill. I take 4 of those daily and one of them as needed. Basically, I’m supposed to eat 1200 calories a day (300 breakfast, 400 lunch, 300 dinner, and 2-100 cal snacks) and cut out simple carbohydrates. They gave me a customized meal plan as well as a food diary that I am to be recording everything in. They also told me I really need to lose 85 pounds. I thought I was going to be paying 100 dollars a month for my 3 month membership but at the end of the day I ended up charging almost 450 dollars. Afterwards I called my friend and she told me to trust her it's going to be worth it! My mom covered most of the cost but very sternly told me that if I didn’t lose weight I owe her the money. I’ll probably be spending another 50-100 dollars a month on the supplements if I decide I want them.
So as I mentioned, today was the first official day although it really should have been yesterday except I had mcdonald’s for lunch. I took my pills in the morning and the fiber pills before meals and I have recorded in my food diary that I ate a total of 920 calories, 29 grams of fat, and 26 grams of carbohydrates and surprisingly it was easy to do. Not only did I serve myself healthy food but I just got full on small portions! My biggest struggle was probably in between the meals/snacks I got hungry but once I sat down and ate I only wanted a little bit. I went to the mall food court with a coworker and convinced her to split a salad with me, I just wanted to eat something small. I’m hesitant to say this on the first day but that stuff is working!
The reason why I decided to start a blog is that I’m hoping to create a network of cyber support especially for young females who need a body makeover. I always felt that reading others blogs/stories gave me some motivation but a lot of times I felt that I couldn’t quite relate with the middle-aged mother of 3, although if you fall in that category and you’re reading my blog I still do feel your struggle and wish you success. I don’t care what ‘diet’ you’re doing or plan you’re following but we all have a greater thing in common and I hope that reading about my experience gives you support and motivation like writing it gives me support and motivation to reach the greater goal. If you have any questions/comments I would LOVE to hear from you!
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