Some inspiration from that Half-Assed book

A big part of my life had been dedicated to weight loss lately. I considered it to be my hobby, but no matter how much I wanted to focus on dropping more weight, life insisted on carrying on around me.

People would always be getting married, dying, and moving-though I hoped they'd stop doing it all in the same month. I had sometimes thought it would be nice to lock myself away on a fat farm where all my food and exercise could be controlled, but I preferred living in the real world....

This is an excerpt from Jenette Fulda's Half-Assed: a weight loss memior.

These are my thoughts EXACTLY! I need to stop making this many excuses about why it's ok to not work out to my 80% potential today, or why it's fine to have a cheeseburger for dinner and 4 Nestle Toll House cookies every other day. It's ok to cut myself some slack sometimes, but I'm overindulging in it. This is is why I've been in the same 5 lb range for the past like 4-5 months now. I haven't reached my goal weight/size and I'm still carrying around too much fat for a girl of my height and bone structure.

I'm finding it challenging to focus on completing multiple missions successfully, but the reality is I'm always going to have exams, or practicals, or clinic. I'm always either going to have to wake up early or come home late or do both...and if I'm not doing these things it's because I'm on vacation so I can't use that as an excuse either.

Part of getting out of the fat mentality is to accept this is how life is and learn to effectively deal with things without having to have a side of cheese fries to soothe me.

Oh and I did see hot guy at the gym...actually I see him a lot nowadays. More on that later.

From me to myself

Somewhere from within me rises a now-familiar presence, offering me all the certainties I have always wished another person would say to me when I was troubled. This is what I find myself writing to myself on the page:

I'm here. I love you. I don't care if you need to stay up crying all night long, I will stay with you. If you need the medication again, go ahead and take it-I will love you through that, as well. If you don't need the medication, I will love you, too. There's nothing you can ever due to lose my love. I will protect you until you die, and after your death I will still protect you. I am stronger than Depression and I am braver than Loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me.

Tonight, this strange interior gesture of friendship-the lending of a hand from me to myself when nobody else is around to offer solace-reminds me of something that happened to me once in New York City.....

-Eat Pray Love